The Beast Within

This is kitty, fat-cat, sh--t head etc. He is our resident evil. I gave him to Laney 10 years ago when he was cute and fluffy and innocent. He looks pretty benign no? Just try and walk by that bed, his little outstretched arm will hook you faster then you can get by. He also bites ankles. My favorite thing that he does however, is to empty his bowels where ever he feels like it. Oh sure, he'll go in the littler box but sometimes just for his own amusement he will leave a man sized one on the kitchen floor or when he is in a particularly dismal mood he will pee on things. I've tossed out two chairs, a couch and numerous dog beds. I don't know if you have ever smelled cat pee but it latches on to what ever is was deposited on and clings for dear life through all kinds of wash cycles and scrubbing. Is that all you ask? Well no, he also goes out on the roof through our window and snatches bats and birds out of the air and deposits them live on my bedroom floor at 2 or 3 in the morning! Have you ever tried to grab a bat with your old sweat pants? It looks up at you bearing its little fangs and hisses as you try not to imagine rabies shots in the belly. The birds he sometimes kills. One day I had left the clean laundry on the floor and he dismantled a little bird on top of the pile leaving the feathers to dust the mountain of laundry like a fresh snow. He is a real beauty.....and yet when he is gone I guess we will miss him, for now I keep trying to think of guiltless ways to help him run off into the woods.